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I have officially somewhat decided that I believe in the Asexuals who don’t want sex or have no sex drive (and always did believe in them really), just that I’m a bit hesitant to trust people on that due to the constant lying, and some people with immature views on sexuality and no understanding of how it works. 

And that I’m doubtful quite as many people have it that do, and I’m doubtful of people I see claiming they have it doing it. Since the vast majority were lying.

I think that’s it, I’m just so used to people lying or not knowing how sexuality (and being sexually attracted to people) works, so I started to doubt it based on personal reasons. Basically, experience vs. logic. And I stand by logic on this, I just needed somebody to snap me out of it.

Also, I feel really bad for the Asexual community that it seems like it’s become a cool label to slap on for a bit “because you don’t like sex as much as others” which really undermines them. I feel bad I almost went back on that. (And I’m sorry the misunderstanding hurt people.)

I do stand by however, some of my views on it.  


Anonymous asked:

people who think that asexuality is just another label to be quirky and unique with are ruining it. there ARE legitimately people with an absence of sexual attraction to anyone at all, there ARE people that aren't interested in sex or are sex-repulsed. don't tell them that their identity is invalid just because you don't understand it, it's just like denying the legitimacy of any other sexual orientation.

I’m not trying to, but thank you, this was a much better response. I’d recommend reading my reply* (sorry I wrote this wrong because I was multitasking, my bad, that seemed cocky due to one slip up, haha.) to the other Anon (or possibly you)?

Biologically speaking, I don’t think there’s ANY reason asexuality can’t exist to be clear, and I’m not saying it doesn’t. To be more specific I was doubting it in most people I knew and most people who claim it, but I was stressed and I worded that poorly. 

I do find that a lot of ways people DEFINE it isn’t real. Can you tell me your views on Asexuality? I’d genuinely like to know.

I’d really like someone to prove to me otherwise and that Asexuality is very much so real, I think liars and people who don’t understand things have just thrown me off. 

And I understand Asexuality, haha (I mean I get the biology on it, and frankly, agree on it, makes sense.). I just don’t agree that people who partake in porn and the like are Asexual. The ones that claim “I have a sex drive and I’m interested in sex” are the ones I don’t believe in or believe are Asexual, and that was what was making me doubt it.

The post was intended more as a venting questioning post then an outright rejection and/or denial.

I’m sorry if it seemed that way. Can you define how you view it to me? I’m genuinely not denying it entirely, just denying how some people I know view it.


Anonymous asked:

ahaha fuck you.


Nice of you to say this on Anon, I assume you’re the person who unfollowed me (I’d recommend not doing that next time, makes it very easy for someone to track you, I say this for your safety. Maybe wait a bit. Or don’t send anon hate. That might be a good idea.). 

I said I wanted to hear a reason why. I left it up for people to defend themselves.

And if saying “fuck you” was supposed to help the argument, it surely didn’t. 

If you honestly expect me to apologize for doubting Asexuality (and NOT WANTING TO MIND YOU) because people keep claiming to be asexual while they partake in porn, and fetishes, and want sex, I can’t. 

And most arguments I’ve heard are “asexuals can have a sex drive, but they don’t point at look at someone and say they want to have sex with them”. In other words they need to like their personality and feel emotionally attached, every sexuality works that way. And it’s a very immature, simple way of looking at sexualities.

Which range in strength. Not every hetero/bi/homo/pansexual has a huge sex drive, or is sexually attracted to people just looking at them. That ranges and it’s normal. 

I’m not saying Asexuals don’t exist, and don’t face discrimination, I just don’t trust that everybody who says they’re asexual really is, or how common or real it is. 

And I’m sorry, I can’t see someone as Asexual if they partake in porn, which just goes entirely against that. I can’t see that any other way.

Look, I want to support Asexuals. Honestly give me a reason to. I really and truly do

But right now, I’m very torn on the issue and I think a lot of it comes from a lot of them don’t know how biology or sexuality works. So they don’t understand and are mostly just hetero/bi/homo/pansexuals who don’t understand that not every person who is those sexualities is that sexually driven or looks at a random stranger and says they want to have sex with that without knowing them. (A lot of people do this, it’s normal for sexualities of all kinds. Not all but many do.)

It’s not helped that currently someone said they’re asexual who reblogs porn and fetishizes people often (which would be fine, but doesn’t make them asexual) currently possibly claimed they’re Asexual. And most Asexuals I knew  basically just turned out to be heterosexuals. (Some just went back to being heterosexual (after enjoying and taking part in porn and because they were always sexually attracted to people and had sex drives)), and others who claimed to be asexual now draw porn. A lot of it. (And I know they were NEVER ace because even when they complained they were asexual they mentioned watching a complete stranger in their class get on his desk a certain way and how they wanted to have sex with him.)

Doubting is not the same as saying something isn’t.

Doubting Asexuality doesn’t mean I don’t believe in it, it means I’m being wavered that way, and I need someone to convince me otherwise. 

I’m not denying Asexuality, frankly, I entirely believe it can be a thing biologically. I’m merely doubting how often it’s really truly asexuality, or just someone who doesn’t understand how sexualities work. 

I should clarify, though, as it was, admittedly, poorly worded.

I’m not even sure I believe in asexuality anymore.

Like at all.”

I meant I’m doubting it, I haven’t decided, but I do believe Asexuality exists (because biologically it makes sense), I just don’t it’s as I thought it was and I’m apprehensive to believe most people who claim they have it have it, (because for many people it was a phase), and I find that unfortunate. And I want a reminder why that’s not the case, but right now it’s not working.

"I certainly don’t have much respect for a lot of people in the groups (like at all, none I know personally)". 

I was speaking specifically Asexuals and “Asexuals” (as they’ve outed themselves as Heterosexual) that I knew. Like specifically, people I know on a personal basis (not all Asexuals).

"I feel sad about this, because I used to defend asexuals to the ends of the Earth, and now I feel like that was wrong or a waste, or maybe I’m hoping that I’m not actually hurting people who don’t deserve it. “

This line meant Asexuals, for the record. I was hoping I wasn’t hurting Asexuals who don’t deserve it. Which I don’t intend to do, and if I’m wrong I’d be happy to hear it.

But you know, for the record, this doesn’t help. Instead of create a reasonable point or debate, you insult me, anonymously (which doesn’t hurt my feelings, for the record, just makes you seem cowardly). And it certainly doesn’t make me think I lost someone valuable as a follower if this is your behavior. (And I certainly hope you don’t treat others this way.)

I truly hope someone does come around to prove me wrong, but I must ask you to not take this approach, as I feel like it will only make matters worse, not help or convince anyone. It’s also a very immature response. 

I’m not even sure I believe in asexuality anymore.

Like at all. 

I certainly don’t have much respect for a lot of people in the groups (like at all, none I know personally), and less and less reason to believe in it.

I want to, but I’ve just seen more and more reasons not to.

I feel sad about this, because I used to defend asexuals to the ends of the Earth, and now I feel like that was wrong or a waste, or maybe I’m hoping that I’m not actually hurting people who don’t deserve it. 

You may not know this, but I have an art blog. 

It’s over here:

It’s not that good, but I’d like if you visited it if you want to. 

Also, I draw myself as a sheep. Hence the constant sheep imagery, it has to do with my zodiac being the sheep (which is an artistic crybaby, fitting!), and also because sheep are adorable and fluffy, though a bit scratchy. 

It’s rant time again.

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Hey, did you know…


  • Everyone has some obsessive/compulsive tendencies, it doesn’t mean you have OCD.
  • Everyone has sad moments, it doesn’t mean you are depressed.
  • Everyone worries, it doesn’t mean you have an anxiety disorder.
  • Everyone gets hung up over their body image and/or eating schedule, it doesn’t mean that you have an eating disorder.
  • Everyone identifies themselves as a mixture of masculine and feminine traits, it doesn’t mean that you are trans / have gender identity disorder.
  • Everyone is only turned on in certain situations, it doesn’t mean that you are part asexual.
  • Everyone is only attracted to certain traits, it doesn’t mean that you are a non-normative sexuality.
  • Everyone has an internal monologue and may talk to themselves, it doesn’t mean that you have headmates / multiple personality disorder / dissociative identity disorder.
  • Everyone has difficulties in some social situations, it doesn’t mean that you are autistic.

When you claim to be things that you are not, it destabilises the structure for those who are. It may change public perception,  de-medicalise something that needs to be medicalised, encourage individuals to not seek medical aid,  create more barriers to prevent medical aid, or make it more difficult to find information and support.

It waters the issue down to have individuals who aren’t actually it, but feel kinda like it. Whether the damage comes from medical needs or societal oppression, it is not helped by growing numbers of people who ‘identify as’ that thing, but by definition are not.

There’s already a public perception that mental disorders are not at all bad compared to non-mental conditions.

There’s already a public perception that asexuals just haven’t found the right person yet.

There’s already a public perception that transsexuals don’t require medical intervention and are just deluded.

There’s already a public perception that those with eating disorders could just choose to snap out of it.

Don’t be part of the problem.

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